No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
