My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
