the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
