She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
only you would photoshop your dick
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
