I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
