Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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