i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
