found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
