There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
