Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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