the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
