I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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