she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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