Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
