So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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