Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
