"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
