one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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