Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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