now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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