life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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