A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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