Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
