i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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