She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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