i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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