Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
