wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
