five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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