I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
