Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
