loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
