I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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