id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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