awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
