I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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