she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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