dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
