Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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