The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
