Taylor Swift is so right about you.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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