It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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