Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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