shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
