We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
