I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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