You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
