So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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