I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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