It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she pinky promised me she was 18
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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